Stuck

Well... I'm stuck. Before I talk about being stuck, I want to talk about my circle again a little.

I haven't walked on it since the truck hit it. In fact, I haven't walked on it in months, turning either on something paved or indoors (usually in the small, unheated room we have with the windows open to get the pseudo-outside experience). It was and is a mud hole. Currently, it's a very bumpy mud hole. I did plod around it a few times to get the new feel of it. It's going to need some work before it's workable again, but it's not as trashed as I thought it was on first examination.

So... stuck. My training is only kind of stuck in that I usually have less than an hour a day that I can give to it (often enough much less). Still, there is training every day. My dissertation is my training, mostly, and it's not training me in bagua. Still, significant progress is being made on that, so that seems well enough.

What's stuck is my frigging back, or more accurately, my sacrum. It feels stuck, all the time, and has for months. This has the direct result of limiting mobility, limiting training intensity, and causing pain (sometimes severe and surprising), all of which cut into my training terribly. I've been working trigger points, and many of the symptoms of the back pain seem to abate but I'm still stuck. Chiropractic essentially hasn't helped, but it doesn't mean I haven't found the right doctor. Incidentally, that's a component of the "stuckness:" even a fair chiro used to be able to make my low back pop, but now it just stubbornly resists (and twinges with pain at the forced effort to get it to release something). Stretching seems to help some symptoms but not others. Meditating and releasing is the same way. The prevailing "stuck" feeling and subsequent shooting pains (particularly any time I lean back and to the left) persist. I wake up in a fair amount of discomfort every morning, and silly things like rolling over in bed hurt tremendously (compare that with doing squats, which doesn't hurt at all). It's most frustrating, to be sure.

I hate to be negative on here or anywhere, but honestly, it's starting to bug me that nothing seems to help this issue. In fact, I would rate myself as worse than I was six months ago despite a variety of expertly recommended and diligently applied tools that should help the matter. I desperately want to kick my training up, using what spare time I have around my thesis, but this problem has been and continues to hold me up severely. I've had enough, and I'm ready for it to be over!

Sigh.