The Flaw in my Plan

With the U.S. tour workshops approaching so rapidly, I've been upping my already difficult-to-fit-in workouts to prepare for them a bit more. Today, I had intended to do a mini-workshop day for myself just to get an idea of how wrecked I'd be if I were to go there today. Since the workshops start early (7 am!), I figured I'd get up early (not quite early enough, but I'm working on that), eat a bite, do static postures for about half an hour, bust out a couple thousand strikes with a serious attitude and the proper intent, take a lunch break, turn for an hour, do a form (or a few forms) a whole bunch of times, and review the applications video. I was aware of the remnants of Tropical Storm Fay moving into the area and intended to tear it up out in my driveway or yard, rain or shine. It didn't go down like that.

The flaw in my plan is that I'm not a morning person, and I haven't been practicing on pretending to be one. I woke up first at 3:18, though I didn't know it, ripped, roaring, and ready to go. After sauntering around to where I could see the clock and realizing it was 3:18 am (instead of the 5:45 or so that I assumed), I went back to bed. My next moment of consciousness did not occur until after first light, so I knew it was later than 5-anything, but I wasn't perturbed. It turned out to be about ten after 7. I figured that wasn't bad for a first try (with no alarm, even!). What I hadn't counted on is something I'm still at a bit of a loss to understand or explain: how is it that my brain and body could have been so overwhelmingly charged at 3:18 am and so overwhelmingly inept after almost four more hours rest, which is slightly more rest than I had achieved by 3:18 am? It makes no sense.

I had brain fog and "morning sickness," meaning the really sick feeling I have every time I get up earlier in the morning than I'm used to or earlier than 6:30 under any circumstances even if I've had to get up before 6:30 every morning for four months. It floats between "I might throw up" and "I think I have diarrhea" and ruins motivation. Also, everything, which is to say everything, was very extra confusing. My quick bite for breakfast took until almost 9 to make, I was so confused and slow-moving. By the time that was done, other unaccounted-for activities of a home-improvement variety were going on and making the idea of going out in the rain to do strikes seem slightly inappropriate. By the time that was done, I still felt woozy and sick, and it was almost time for my lunch break... having achieved nothing of my planned training yet and being in a position where I'm not sure it should/would have counted had I forced myself to do it. What little I did try convinced me that it quite literally wasn't worth my effort yet and made me feel even sicker.

Usually, the crap wake-up feeling wears off by 9:30 or 10 at the latest, often earlier than that, frequently even if I get up in the 5-somethings. Not so today. I continued to feel like crap straight until almost 5:30 pm, tilting on the verge of being sick every time I tried to do anything and not having the energy to do much more than lay on my side. I did get some math done, but the toll it took on my mind and body was tremendous. I wanted a nap so badly, but I am forcing myself not to have them until I'm trained to go to bed early and wake up early, hopefully without feeling lost and sick.

Once the sick subsided, I went out into the still-steady rain and decided to follow Bradley's advice on training on which he's really ramping up the focus: "get better at something every time you train." I decided that today's effort would be on the three-step method, and so I applied it with a wide variety of strikes from the basics and several of the forms, ultimately doing around 840 of them without much in the way of a break. After that, I ran through those forms a few times, dripping wet at this point, and turned for about five or six minutes, just enough to get the feel for it (and start feeling it after all that striking with no rest!) and went inside, wringing out my workout clothes before tossing them into the laundry -- feeling quite sick again, though not in the same way. It was the same sick feeling, but it wasn't as pervasive. It was more of a redoubled desire to lay down and go to sleep right then and there.

I celebrated by making "fiesta-style" chicken and wild rice for dinner. I feel a bit guilty, like I shortchanged myself or my workout, but I figure that I did anything on a day like today was really a testament to something. I'm going to stand now and go to sleep so that I can try it all again tomorrow, this time with the pressure that I have to go in to work on Wednesdays, so something almost has to happen in the morning before I have to be there. Here's to trying, if nothing more!